Track-A-’Crat: The Roll Call of Democratic Delinquency

Rolland Burris’ titanic contribution to the healthcare debacle was to deliver his own rendition of ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas on the Senate floor today.

Moron.  Moron.  Moron.

Well, what else would you expect from a man who -- no joke -- named his children Rolanda and Roland II?

He still has a ways to go before he matches George Foreman, though, who magnificently named his male children George Jr., George III, George IV, George V and George VI. Way to make your kids feel like unique and worthwhile individuals in their own right, there, George.

Poor old pathetic Sen. Burris.

In much the same way that I sometimes have a twinge of remorse for spiders that I’m about to crush, I pity Roland Burris.

Calculating his corruption through a time-served-in-the-Senate/depth-of-his-venality matrix, I find Burris to be one of the tippity-top ranking frauds of all time.

Citing fundraising problems (as opposed to staggeringly blatant corruption), Burris today declared that he would not run in the 2010 elections.

Burris, no doubt, will console himself by writing a short story about his time as an interim senator.

And thus do we lose another titan of the modern political age.

Just when Sen. Roland Burris thought that the worst had passed, another revelation about his profound corruption comes to light.

And craps all over whatever shreds of integrity he was still maintaining.

Burris is done: there’s now no doubting his complete lack of personal probity.

But, as surely as President Obama ♡ taxes, Burris will not do the honorable thing and resign.  He’ll flail around in his death-throes, protesting an innocence that does not exist and further eroding whatever small public faith in politicians still lingers.

All that remains after that, sadly, is for the race card (linked to one of the finest scandals I’ve ever known) to be played…

Roland Burris, who may well be a nice person and all that, is and forever will be (in politics, at least) tarnished by his association with Rod Blagojevich.

Actually, tarnished is an understatement.

That implies that Burris has only been lightly coated by the Blago fiasco, whereas it’s far more accurate to say that he has been dunked head-first and whole into the Blagojevich bedpan.

Burris is also in the financial mire.  He’s raised a Pluto-sized $845 during the first quarter of this year and owes a Jupiter-by-comparison $111,000.

Loser!

And there I was, I thinking that Chris Dodd was having difficultly in extorting money from his serfs.

Disillusionment with politicians never takes long, does it?

Roland Burris, the zenith of integrity and principles, is at it again.

Taking full advantage of the media spotlight moving away from his own personal circus to the wider Congressional farce, the infamous senator is now seeking the Senate Ethics Committee’s permission to raise money for a legal expense fund.

Lucky contributors will have the honor of paying for Sen. Burris’ fight to clear his name.

Good luck with that.

History will remember Senator Burris.

Of all the possible reasons why, this one would be far from the worst.

Forgive me for riding roughshod over States’ rights, but legislation of this kind should have been enacted long ago.

Playing hand-me-down with elected office is not a wonderful way of promoting liberal-democracy.

Maybe we should ask, ahem, Young Jeezy for his opinion.

His days have got to be numbered.  If he does manage to survive this, he’ll make Houdini (not to mention Barney Frank) look like a rank amateur.

I do love how politicians find ever more ways to bring a once-noble service into disrepute.  Hmm, should I attempt to save my reputation or drag the entire political edifice through the mud?  You know what, think I’ll get to work draggin’.

What does it have to take for public officials to admit to any culpability or wrongdoing, and resign?

When even your own side is calling for your resignation.

After an entire five weeks in the Senate.

Did Senator Durbin advise him to resign because of his own deeply held principles or because it’s a CYA manoeuvre?  Either way, Burris’ tenure is looking increasingly untenable.

Will this matter to Illinois voters?

Nah, didn’t think so.

Looks like Senator Burris is trying his hardest to take first place in the competition no-one wants to win, that of shortest-serving-senator.

Snouts are firmly in the trough.