Track-A-’Crat: The Roll Call of Democratic Delinquency

Jacko.

Paintings like this did not help your whole I’m-not-a-pedophile thing.

I still don’t quite totally fully believe that he was a pedo, mostly because I’m fairly sure that he had his you-know-what surgically removed at some point or another (c’mon!  It’s not like he ever used it!).

But things like this do give me pause for thought.

Then again, I can easily imagine Barry being vainglorious enough to commission his next state portrait to include little asexual cherubs floating around his head…

By now, I’m sure that you’ve all seen the previously unseen footage of Michael Jackson’s hair lighting up like a Christmas tree (starting around the 45s mark in the clip).

After all, there’s nothing more important going on…

Aside from how-the-heck-did-no-one-leak-this-before, my only question is: what was going through Jacko’s mind once he reached the bottom of the steps and clearly knew that he was combusting from the top down?

Because his solution appeared to be to twirl around in a circle, admittedly quite rapidly, three times.  Before someone more sensible doused him with a fire extinguisher.

Perhaps his train of thought was that if he just danced fast enough, the fire would be suitably impressed and stop burning.

Shamoa.

Lord, give me strength.

Rep. Sheila Jackson-Lee (D-TX) has introduced a bill to honor Michael Jackson, which, even more inexplicably, has somehow been referred to the House Foreign Affairs Committee (?).

First of all, what?

And secondly, what?

The, ahem, piece of proposed legislation lists Jackson’s accomplishments in endless detail, from his #1 hits to the details of his charity work.

I’m not heartless.  News of his death saddened me (slightly) – I was still hoping against hope that there might be a successful comeback.  Michael Jackson was, no doubt, a very talented individual.  Despite his success, he also had a miserable life.

As to the whole kiddie-fiddler thing, yeah he might’ve shared a bed with a kid or two, but I kinda doubt that the man even had genitals.  And if he did, they probably disgusted him, anyway, so either way that’s a “no” to doing grossly inappropriate things with/to children.

Michael Jackson is best remembered through his music, not through pointless (and morbid) attempts by politicians to exploit his popularity for their own benefit.