Kim Jong-il, king of the fruitcakes, isn’t looking quite as robust as he normally does.

While his DPRK peasants eat grass, mud and each other (seriously – due to Kimmy’s depredations, destitute North Koreans have provided the world’s most contemporaneous example of forced cannibalism), the Dear Leader gorges himself on the finer things in life – whiskey, cigars and lobster.

Not that he has much longer to do so – the pancreatic cancer eating away at him appears to be winning.

DPRK is in the news for once not due to bellicose statements, missile launches and nuclear weapons. To remind us all that he (unfortunately) hasn’t died yet, Kimmy’s goons kidnapped a couple of American journalists.

The release of whom was negotiated in exchange for a visit by that walking STD, silver-haired lothario Bill Clinton, whom the state-run DPRK media then delightedly reported had apologized to the DL.

As cowardly as Clinton undoubtedly is, still I doubt it.

More pertinently, wasn’t it lucky that the two US reporters worked for Al Gore’s San Francisco-based Current TV? How handy for then calling in the 42nd president to go grovel for their release. Friends in high places and all that…

Does this mean that Clinton will henceforth be dispatched to Iran to ensure the release of the three arrested American tourists there?

In fact, why not use Bubba as a full-time chief hostage negotiator in increasingly dangerous global hot-spots?

A use has been found for him at last!

A friend recently told me of a great The Silence of the Lambs analogy involving Iran and North Korea: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the ever-so-slightly saner Hannibal Lecter (minus the intelligence), whereas Kim Jong-il is the full-on, eat-your-own-faeces crazy Buffalo Bill (plus funky shades).

[Which I guess would leave the United Nations as the guy whose liver Hannibal Ahmadinejad gleefully devoured.]

It was even funner coming, as it did, from a Democrat.

Buffalo Kim is again striving to prove that there is no floor to his infinite well of insanity.  His latest world-busting ruse could be, according to the Japanese (via AP), to fire “its most advanced ballistic missile toward Hawaii around Independence Day.”

Hawaii has recently taken a pretty severe beating in my estimation, but I still don’t want to see it turned into a nuclear wasteland.  For one thing, LOST hasn’t finished filming the concluding season yet and I’d be pis*sed if I’d watched it this long only to have the ending scuppered by all-out atomic warfare.

Oh, and lots of innocent lives would be lost, too.

President Obama has reigned for a mere four months and just about every member of  the world gallery of tinpot dictators has already done something or another belligerent.

And it’ll continue to happen, with rapidly deteriorating outcomes each time, until Barry learns this important lesson (the last two lines of the linked-to post, just to be precise…).

UPDATE: Seeing as the North Koreans name their missiles “Dong”, regular reader and good friend Войска ПВО suggests an alternate title to the post:

“Big Dong Lands in Barry’s Back Yard.”

Just try telling me you didn’t laugh at that.

Human Teletubby and King of the Freakazoids, Kim Jong-il, has failed to send a satellite into space, according to South Korea and the US military.

This, however, didn’t stop North Korean officials from claiming that they had successfully placed into orbit a satellite broadcasting “revolutionary songs”.

Revolutionary songs?  WTF?

I know that Kimmy is completely whackadoo but this is even more insane than usual.

In completely unrelated but equally outlandish news, North Korea also recently opened its very first “authentic” Italian pizzeria.  After TEN YEARS of covert international research.

That’s approaching the amount of time it took the DPRK to make nuclear weapons (thank you Russia, China, A. Q. Khan).  Except I imagine that they’re slightly more awkward to manufacture than pizza.