Track-A-’Crat: The Roll Call of Democratic Delinquency

It’s an inevitable consequence of becoming the leader of any country that matters, but the accelerated aging process is clearly taking its toll upon Slick Willy, who’s looking more like the peanut farmer with every passing day.

Not that it’s had much affect on his mental faculties, which remain as deformed as ever.  Bubba has once again spoken of the “vast right-wing conspiracy” that attacked him and has, apparently, now resumed operations against Barry.

I do love how he can deflect all criticism of his presidency away from it’s true source: his inability to tell the truth, his infinite capacity for deviousness and his complete absence of personal morals.

Plus, Bill, a “conspiracy” cannot by definition be “vast.”  When people conspire to one end or another, such as Barry and his proto-communists, it is done in secret.  To maintain said secrecy, the numbers of those in the know are limited.  Were it to become “vast”, the conspiracy would cease to be so, having turned into a plan, instead.  Which, coincidentally, is the stage that Barry’s cabal is now approaching.

In other news, thank the Lord that yesterday’s over.

I’ve still not entirely recovered, but at least I no longer want to hide in a hole in the ground.  Man, do I hate hangovers.  I did make it to the pig roast, but it took three hours to get there, leaving Smitty and I barely over an hour to stay once we had arrived.  Stacy McCain has some photos of the party.

Finally, thank you all for your hangover-avoidance advice.

Except, that is, for those of you whom recommended hair of the dog.

I thought we were friends.

This can’t be right.

If there’s one man who surely doesn’t need any more sex ed., it’s gotta be Bill Clinton.

Yet he still managed to state that embryos are not fertilized.

Um.  An embryo is a fertilized egg, Casanova.

Simple though this is, it forms the basis of an understanding of far more complex issues, such as stem-cell research.

So if you’re mistaken about the least complicated part of the subject, what does that imply about your comprehension of the most complicated part?

Because when I, Bill Clinton, fire all 93 U.S. Attorneys it is fully legal, rational and reasonable.

But when you, evil genius Karl Rove, are implicated in the firing of 9 federal prosecutors, then we must host a show trial to publicly humilitate you.  Natch.

As with the Mark Steyn show trial, the punishment is the process.

Bill, you must have some lingering anger issues.  Not hard to understand why.  Only the second president to be impeached (in 1998, with the first being Andrew Jackson in 1868).  Suspended from the Arkansas bar for lying.  Lurid public testimony about his private life.  Not quite the glorious exit you had in mind, right?

But is that reason enough to attack free speech?

I empathize with Democrats.  It must be terribly distressing to learn that Fox News is not supportive.

Particularly when they can only count on ABC, NBC, MSNBC, CBS, CNN, PBS, NPR, Air America, nearly all print newspapers (for as long as they have left) and magazines, daytime TV, celebrities and, last but not least, Hollywood.

No doubt about it: that rogue outlet, Fox, demands regulation.

Where to begin?

Rather than attempting to make any sense of a litany of missteps and indiscretions (a fool’s errand if ever there were one), I’m just going to list a whole loada “gates.”

Whitewater – Travelgate Gennifer Flowersgate – Filegate – Vince Fostergate – Whitewater Billing Recordsgate – Paula Jonesgate- Lincoln Bedroomgate – Donations from Convicted Drug and Weapons Dealersgate – Lippogate – Chinagate – The Lewinsky Affair – Perjury and Jobs for Lewinskygate – Kathleen Willeygate – Web Hubbell Prison Phone Callgate – Selling Military Technology to the Chinesegate – Jaunita Broaddrick Gate – Lootergate – Pardongate.

And with that done, please feel free to correct me and state that Clinton is still the absolute bestest president ever.