The Billion Dollar Man
Yeah, Al Gore again, this time with added jowls.
It’s already been established that making things up is totally awesome for generating undeserved traffic – ironically, that post about the non-Obama thesis marked the first time, I think, that my site has been the number one hit on Google, for the search term “aristocracy reborn.” Go on, give it a try! I’ve no idea how my post came to be ranked above the places where I read the falsehood in the first place, but who cares: you don’t have to understand something to enjoy it.
So here’s another unsubstantiated but nevertheless oft-repeated rumor. And it’s a good ‘un. It goes like this: Al Gore, crushed by his entirely legitimate 2000 election defeat, had one heckuva nervous breakdown and was forced to recuperate somewhere secure, hence his temporary (and wonderful) disapperance from the public eye. The indisputable part of this story is that, while incapacitated by insanity, Al got progressively fatter and beardier, as we all know.
My little addition to the tale then goes that, while no doubt having a swell time eating flies and p*ssing his pants, Al heard a voice warning him of the looming environmental apocalypse.
And the rest is history. Al’s cult is almost certainly the largest and most rapidly growing sect in history. He never acknowledges, let alone enters into debate with, any heretics, demanding total obedience from his adherants.
The most revealing aspect of Gore’s hysterical rantings, however, is not any reduction in emissions (which have been infintesimal, if they’ve even occurred at all) but his own massive enrichment. The scale of which is scarcely believable. Because Gore is on course to become the first so-called carbon billionaire.
And that’ll only be the first of his billions at our expense.
November 3rd, 2009 at 21:19
$1B??? There’s no way that fat oaf is worth $10/pound!
innominatus´s last blog ..Biden dumber than thought
November 3rd, 2009 at 22:02
If he gets any fatter we won’t be able to tell him and Michael Moore apart. As for his 1B empire. You didn’t really think he was doing all this for the good of the planet, did you? Politicians don’t do anything unless it benefits them. He’s the poster child for hypocrisy.
November 4th, 2009 at 01:04
I automatically think about how Cheney took heat for his involvement and wealth from Haliburton. Now, Gore is creating his “green Haliburton.” I guess it’s OK if the left profits at the expense of others.
November 4th, 2009 at 03:27
Land shark.
November 4th, 2009 at 05:48
The most sucessful con in human history (Madoff doesn’t count, he got caught).
November 4th, 2009 at 08:55
Eh, Gore’s been an environmental wackadoo for decades. He just figured out how to become fabulously wealthy from it.
christine´s last blog ..Stuff you learn in public school, these days
November 6th, 2009 at 12:52
Al, Al, Al, you just gotta push away from the table faster!