Shut It, Clooney
Celebrities everywhere, please read this.
Ignore the migraines cursing through your brains as you try to digest a sentence composed of more than three words, read out loud if you must and even point to the words with your index finger as you go along, but, for one moment, engage whatever residual grey matter you haven’t already coked away.
We love your movies/music/books (most of the time).
And detest everything else that you do.
If I could, I’d go back to the good old days of Hollywood, where studios virtually owned actors. Then I’d be able to see just how long human beings can go without using the restroom before soiling themselves and, more importantly, I could prevent actors from abusing their legions of mindless fans, who not only see them as demi-gods but also fountains of pure political knowledge.
Which they most assuredly are not.
If public faith in politicians has deteriorated so badly that (currently acting) actors are now needed to sell the message, then that simply reflects the need for fresh politicians (and term limits) rather than substituting screen puppets in their place.
Is Clooney bored of his superhuman efforts to single-handedly solve the crisis in Darfur by talking about it in extremely general terms? Isn’t that what normally brings the Hollywood crowd to DC?
Well now he’s had the killer idea of making yet another movie based on Guantanamo Bay.
Except that, predictably, whereas it could focus on the awesome parts of Guantanamo (holding terrorists/wannabee terrorists in a legal no-man’s land) it will instead concentrate on the crushingly boring aspects (some case about its legal ability to try detainees, or whatev).
Unless Bin Laden or one of his oiks is having his eyes melted by a red-hot poker, no-one’s gonna pay to see this, Georgie-boy.
PS – What’s up with the photo? D’you reckon that they coordinated their poses? “OK, Barry, I’ll enter the room on the left and look left, and you enter the room on the right and look right! Ohmygod, it’ll be so much fun! Let’s see who can look the coolest!”
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:40
‘cuse me if I miss that picture.
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September 23rd, 2009 at 11:49
You know, instinctively I agree with you – actors, shut up and act. But then along comes a conservative actor saying all the right stuff and my heart warms. Ugh, we have to admit the double standard. What we really should be saying is “if you don’t know what you are talking about, shut up and act.” As to their coordinating this, absolutely. Both of these Actors definitely know how to shine in the spotlight, and so they did all kinds of poses. Of course, the other actor is the Press, who dutifully reported using the best pictures they can find. I feel like cursing: hopenchang. Sorry for cursing on your blog.
September 23rd, 2009 at 14:54
They can’t help it.
They’re joined at the zipper.
September 23rd, 2009 at 17:10
This is a more appropro representation of ‘The (C)looney”
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September 23rd, 2009 at 18:49
“The United States has become a place where entertainers and professional athletes are mistaken for people of importance.”
-Robert A. Heinlein
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September 23rd, 2009 at 20:17
Actors are whores. And I like my whores to entertain me. They don’t need to talk, just follow the script and recite the lines. Nothing else is needed. I really don’t like my whores to talk. It’s better that way.
September 23rd, 2009 at 21:24
Skiri’ki–ROFL!
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